Payabangan

ANAK: tay ako pinakamabilis magbilang ng 1-10 sa school

TATAY: ok. wag ka mayabang anak

sunod na araw

ANAK: tay pinakamagaling ako magsulat ng ABC sa school

TATAY: ok. wag ka magyabang

sunod na raw

ANAK: tay ako may pinakamalaking t*t* sa mga kaklase ko

TATAY: tigilan mo nga kayabangan mo. natural 30 ka na eh.

Boyfriends Fart Dinner

A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time for dinner. After dinner, his girlfriend and her mother left the room to do the dishes, leaving him with the father and the dog Duke, who was sitting underneath the boy's chair. Unfortunately, it was a large dinner and he really had to fart. He stealthily let out a quiet, but audible, fart.

"Duke!" the dad yelled.

"This is great!" the boy thought. "He thinks the dog is farting!" So he let out another one.

"Duke!" the father barked. The boy thought he was home free so he let everything out at once in a really loud and smelly fart.

"Duke! Get out of there before the boy shits on you!"