Heart Failure

Teacher : Pedro, if your father earns P7,500 in a week and he gave 1/2 of that to your mother, what would she have?"Pedro: "Heart failure, Ma'am!"

Wedding Ring

Teacher: If there were five birds on a fence. And you shot one, how many would be left?
Kid: None, as others will fly away.
Teacher: The answer is four, but I like the way you think!
Kid: I have a question ma’am. If three women are eating ice cream, one licking, one biting, and one sucking, which one is married?
Teacher: (Nervously answered) Well, the one sucking the cone.
Kid: No, you’re wrong . The one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you think ma’am!

Children in the dark

Teacher: Now, Pedro give me the opposite of this sentence. “Children in the dark, make mistakes.”
Pedro: Mistakes in the dark, make children.

Marunong Magbilang

Sa isang paaralan…

Guro: Iho, nakita ko ang kuya mo na naglalaro ng tong-its sa kanto. Pinapabayaan na niya ang kanyang pag-aaral. Sana di mo siya tularan at pagbutihin mo ang pag-aaral mo.
Juan: Wag po kayong mag-alala ma’am, di ko naman po pinapabayaan ang pag-aaral ko eh.
Guro: Talaga! Alam mo bang magbilang?
Juan: Opo!
Guro: Umpisaham mo nga
Juan: One…Two…Three…Four…Five…Six…Seven…Eight…Nine…Ten!
Guro: Magaling! Kaya mo bang ituloy?
Juan: Opo!
Guro: Very Good! Sige nga. (Tuwang-tuwa)
Juan: Jack…Queen..King!!!!

Teacher

Guro: Pedro late kana naman.
Pedro: Late po kasi relo ko.
Guro: Problema ba yun. E di i-advance mo.
Pedro: Sige po.
Guro: Oh, saan ka pupunta?
Boy: Uwian na po!